ASHAMED & POWERLESS

I’m compelled to share a story that happened to me the other day.

I asked a friend if he wanted to go out for a beer and wings and catch up.  I’m in boy mode FYI.

On my way, I invited another friend, both of which attended.

It was the usual talk about kids, college, sports etc.

Just before we were going to part ways, somehow it turned to a story about a friend they knew that met, who he thought was a cisgender girl. One thing led to another and they were making out.  

As they continued the story, they said he reached down to find something he didn’t expect.  We all know what that something would be.

Then another similar story from the other friend.  A guy gets drunk and remembers nothing but wakes up with a girl curled up next to him.  He looks and finds out she’s a trans girl and freaks out.

I left the ending off each so I can give one for both because they are eerily similar.

Suffice it to say, both guys blew a fuse and beat the trans girls badly.

I was in shock because I’ve kept my secret from those that have known me for years mainly out of respect for my wife and children.

I felt like throwing up because of what happened next…

They both thought it was funny.  

They were laughing!  I wanted to jump out of my skin at that moment and scream at them but I couldn’t. 

I felt ASHAMED at being their “friend” and POWERLESS because I couldn’t come out and tell them… “That could have been me you dicks!”

My wife constantly tells me to “be safe” when I dress and go out.  I don’t think much of it because as a US Marine and 6’3″, people don’t mess with me. But after hearing those stories, I realize that anything can happen.

What an eye opener and reality check.

The world doesn’t always think like me.  I’m very calm and slow to anger. I cut people slack.  

I’ve still not fully gotten over that story and don’t think I ever will.

Please be safe everyone.  Better to be up front first so no surprises. 

Just my humble opinion.
Be Strong. 💪 
Gwen Patrone 

#TransPreneur

https://www.gwenpatrone.com/

7 thoughts on “ASHAMED & POWERLESS”

  1. Indeed yes it’s sad that these stories are out there but to be honest I do feel Tigris should be honest if they are not sure if the guy they are with are into that
    We all have a responsibility in this
    It did not give them the right to harm them of course but that kind of surprise might even bother me.
    But yes be safe and smart
    Rachael

  2. Thanks for sharing your story Gwen.
    I don’t know what I would have said if I was in your place. I hoped I would have at least scolded my friends for laughing at someone getting beaten.
    You didn’t need to tell of your trans side, but any human beating is unacceptable (even a slap).
    Jocelyn

  3. I share your feelings of revulsion at what these guys were talking about. That would be such a scary situation to be in and I feel for the girls. I’m not sure how I would have reacted as the guys or the girls. I know we cannot be too careful but I don’t think violence is ever justified in these cases. Thanks for sharing. I really enjoy reading everything you share on this site.

    Love, Liz

  4. Gwen, parking the unacceptable & disgraceful outcomes of both the individuals’ encounters with the trans girls and your friends’ reactions, I think we’ve all had that feeling of shame that we couldn’t speak out at one time or another. Perhaps we can draw some comfort from the fact that we often do it to protect those around us but, of course, there is a big helping of self-preservation in there as well as we know that society often does not look as kindly on us as it should. Equally, though, many of us try to do the best we can for the community, both in striving to be a credit to the gender we aspire to and in providing insight and encouragement to those girls who are still nervously trying to take fledgling steps.

    If there’s any saving grace about the incidents recounted by your friends, it’s that many people seem to know someone who knows someone who inadvertendly ‘picked up’ a trans girl so we can only hope that the stories were apocryphal and, on this occasion, no one was physically harmed.

    But as far as you’re concerned, I think that the good that you do compensates many times over for any discomfort you may have felt about not being able to speak out.

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