When I first started realizing my aspirations of feminization, I started in my home (apartment), trying on various articles of clothing, wigs, make-up until I felt “ready”.
I went to my front door and I was FROZEN WITH FEAR.
What if someone recognized me?
What if I don’t “pass”?
What if I walk like a guy?
What if…
What if…
What if…
The anxiety was like a tidal wave that drown me in fear.
Then I realized…
The first step is the most important.
I let loose the good parts of my imagination which overwhelmed the anxiety and fear.
OMG CONCEPT💥
Imagining my life as it can be and using it to PULL ME TOWARDS IT, gave me hope and direction. PUSHING FROM my life experiences up until now is a far WEAKER way to do it than PULLING from a POWERFUL FUTURE DREAM.
Sometimes, it’s very easy for us to lose ourselves in this femme daydream yet overwhelmed with anxiety and fear.
However, I understood that living in a daydream (in my apartment), produced no results for me unless I took action to make it come true.
INERTIA INITIATIVE
For this reason, when I want something, I take the initiative to take the very first step and get the ball rolling. To me, the first step is by far the most important step (and most difficult) because it sets the tone for my femme dreams.
If I take the first step toward my goal to be better as a female every time I dress, it doesn’t matter if I “pass”. I’m just being the best me I can be. Besides, aren’t most people just passing through? So who cares what they think.
Going out of the front door with confidence, and with the right frame-of-mind, I can do this.
By understanding that I must incorporate my femme dreams with action, I’m able to set my plan of action before I take that first step.
FEMME DREAMS+ACTION=HAPPINESS
My action plan of personal feminization ensures that I am being strategic in my approach, therefore maximizing my results.
If I were to simply dress and go to the front door without pre-framing things, the results I desire would be unattainable. I would have no direction and would likely have anxiety and fear repeatedly rule my world.
The first step, even baby steps, are vital to my feminization and results you can attain, so do everything your power to launch yourself with a sustainable momentum in order to achieve whatever level of feminization you desire.
Stop daydreaming about it and DO IT. Take the first step.
Be Strong. 💪
Gwen Patrone
#TransPreneur
11 Responses
That first step of going out can be frightening. I remember going out like it was yesterday and it was over 40 yrs ago. I went to a CD party that I heard about through Lee Brewster, at his store in NYC. I remember how anxious I was. But after meeting another CD and having a amazing conversation I realized that I was not alone. That night changed my life.
Terri
I won’t speak for Gwen, whom I am actually with this weekend, but we clearly are not alone.
There isn’t a tgirl or CD that wasn’t scared that first time out the door.
I had a few false starts myself
Sure I did a Halloween party as a French Maid but really going out into the wild was a whole new feeling.
Once I did finally make it out and figured out nobody paid much attention I relaxed and owned it as they say.
These days for me it’s like going out in male mode,
It’s just natural now as I walk out with my purse and head out the door
Thank you Rach for helping affirm our experiences for others.
That’s right. The vast majority of people are so focused on themselves that they don’t pay attention. Those who do are generally pleasant.
Gwen
I’ve been going out for years. The first step, whether it’s out the front door, out of the car, into the mall still has a tinge of fear. I remember reading an article on a CD group’s website years ago that basically concluded “with the makeup, wig and outfit, someone may recognize you as a man in a dress but it’s highly unlikely they will recognize YOU in a dress.” Whenever I get that fear, I take a deep breath, reflect for a moment on that article … then close the door behind me. I’ve had a few false starts where I’m in the mall parking lot and just can’t pull the handle to open the door, but once out I’ve never regretted taking that first step.
Claire, I have three words of advice (which you know, I’m sure): practice, practice, practice! Every time gets a bit easier until all inhabitations melt away and you really become you.
So true Kandi. You must domesticate the fear. This is usually done in one of 2 ways.
1. sudden event
2. spaced repetition over time (most common)
Gwen
I thought I was alone as well until I started to get out more. The pandemic didn’t help either. However, I ventured out wherever I could and conditioned myself to get used to being in femme mode
Gwen
Gwen,
While I don’t expererience those fears now , I still remember the times when I had to fight them . I found the best way to deal with them was to have a goal , instead of the scenario of being dressed now where do I go ? It was replaced by I need to be dressed because I have a list of jobs to do , that was how I faced my first day of being fulltime . I had moved to my new home in a different town , I knew very few people but my new home needed so many things . First I went to the supermarket , then I had some car parts that needed replacing , I had some DIY items to get from a builder’s merchant , I needed to register at my new GP’s surgery , the list goes on . By the time I arrived home I was exhausted but also very very good in myself , Teresa was truly out the door , I hadn’t given a thought of passing or not as I had too much to occupy my mind . I did become aware of being checked out the first time I filled my car with fuel , from both men and women , strangely it is a place where we do people watching .
I admit it took a few weeks to fully adjust to being Teresa everyday , often driving into town I had to check I’d not forgotten anything , was my makeup OK , was my choice of clothes suitable and had I placed everything in my handbag that I needed . Talking of handbags it’s one item I really appreciate being a woman , OK we may lose pockets but we gain a really useful accessory .
My first forays among fellow humans was Halloweens. It was nothing more than buying food at a Safeway or doughnut shop. When my wife and I had “The Talk” she wanted nothing to do with my feminine desires, but she said it was alright with her if I found a support group to join. I looked, but none were to be found. Even in male mode I am not a fan of perusing stores other than a decent hobby shop. The best I can muster is an evening stroll in dress and heels in a safe residential neighborhood. Maybe returning library books or mailing a letter. The pent-up urges get out of my system.