ATTRACTOR ~ ATTRACTEE
I’m sure you’ve heard many variations on this start of a joke.
I’m out last night (TRANS), with my two LEBSIAN friends and we walk into a bar.
It’s Saturday night at 10 PM, I thought more would be there. It happened to be a TGirl stripper bar with a pole and stage.
“Hmmmm, this could be interesting”, I thought.
There were 6 TGirls with more coming in all the time. I was immediately struck by their shape. Wow, they were built. Very little fat and lean. Most had an itty bitty waist too, which blew my mind. That’s my bugaboo because when you get older, you know where the weight goes first. In the belly.
One was prettier than the other and with high platform shoes, they were really tall. I’m not used to looking eye level at anyone, let alone looking up.
So, let me set the stage. I knew I was going out to some cutting edge places so I dressed accordingly.
Dark eye makeup. Check.
Tight, really short skirt. Check.
Really big boobs. Check….Oh yeah. They felt wonderful.
Blonde hair. Check.
We walk in…
Music pumping. Stripper pole being worked. Get the picture?
Not kidding. Within 60 seconds, a guy turns his head from the bar, walks over to me, says this is for you. You look incredible. And proceeded to slip a dollar under my skirt. Yes it’s tight enough to hold it.
I’m perplexed, confused, and flattered all at the same time.
I dressed pretty provocative so I guess I deserved the dollar? Yeah, maybe so.
But what a thrill that someone would even do that.
You see, for me as a married, committed CD, the thrill is not sex. I’m not looking for sex. I’m looking for the nuance. I want to experience the desire, romance, attraction, MOJO etc. of being the ATTRACTOR instead of the ATTRACTEE.
A side-note….
Maybe some can identify with this. I love my wife. We’ve been married 30 years. I’m forever grateful she gives my space to figure Gwen out. I’d love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her as both a girlfriend and husband. We shall see how that transpires. We have our challenges as I’m sure you do as well.
So, I’m figuring things out. Who knows where the road will lead.
Back to my story…
I struck up a lengthy inquisitive conversation with a few. I tipped them, knowing time is money for them. I roll like that.
They were surprisingly open to chat and very friendly. After compliments and small talk, I started with the questions. I don’t think it appropriate to tell here what I asked them. No it wasn’t how I could be a poll dancer.
It’s an experience I’ll remember for a very, very long time.
Gwen Patrone
#TransPreneur
6 Responses
Wow, that’s an amazing experience!
Sorry cant help being envious, what a night You had, lucky You. Wish I had the guts to do the same.
Clarissa,
You can build up courage. It takes time and repetitive actions.
Gwen
HI Gwen – Sounds like a fascinating experience, and thank you for a particular statement regarding my CD experience that I have not been able to put into words:
“I want to experience the desire, romance, attraction, MOJO etc. of being the ATTRACTOR instead of the ATTRACTEE.”
Looks like we share a point of view – or you are reading my mind!
All the best,
Kris
I grew up in NYC and been to some bars like that. Thanks for bringing back some memories.
Gwen,
Sorry to ask but being a Brit was it a dollar coin or a dollar bill ?
Your post is so much fun but it does have a serious undertone . The problem many people have with undertstanding a transgender person is that they often confuse gender and sexuality , I have to admit I’m confused at times .
Like you I am married but now divorced and have fathered two children and not having surgery would still be considered a heterosexual male . I have no interest in a relationship with a man but retain a normal attitude to females , I have several friends on hormones , some have retained their sexual preferences and some have become either bisexual or become totally absorbed by relationships with men . Of course the picture is totally altered by surgery , the assumption being a homosexual male becomes a heterosexual female , or does it ?
My feelings are that even after surgery my sexual preferences wouldn’t change , so what would that make me ?
The whole transgender scene is a confusing one , it’s often said that gay men don’t like crossdressers but many of us know that’s not the case , the same applies to lesbians not liking men but accepting of Cders/transgender not unless they’re feminists ( on the whole they appear to hate everyone !)
I’ve experienced being hit on by men and also women but nowdays at my age I’m not so concerned about a relationship but more forming friendships with people I can trust .
Of the things I’ve discovered being transgender one is that liked or loathed we do intrigue people , they can’t quite ignore us , they want to know what makes us tick . OK we do scare some people , we touch a nerve in some and that often expains why some refuse to accept us , the problem is not always us .