By Jocelyn Johnson
I have been posting short videos on YouTube for three years now. A couple of months ago I had 17 videos, with about 15 subscribers, and nearly 2,000 views.
I lamented to my friend Alison that after three years my views and subscribers were so low. Not that I really wanted many subscribers or views. I try to keep my social media profile to a minimum. (I know YouTube – social media to a minimum!!!???).
But I put up a very short video two months ago and a longer one a month ago. And the views and subscribers “took off”. Now over 51,000 views and 164 subscribers. I also realize in the YouTube world these new numbers are a small pittance, but a massive increase in just two months.
Now to my point. I receive comments on my videos only from total strangers. The comments have been very supportive, kind, flattering, and some inquisitive. Such as:
– very beautiful
– great legs
– love your red lips
– where do you live?
– your my queen
– do you do bondage? (that was a quick no)
As Kandi has taught me, I reply to them all; even the ones in French and Spanish. Thank you Google translator.
I am not looking for confirmation of my videos or how I present, but the comments give me some feeling of comfort and an ego boost.
But the most recent comment I got gave me great pause for contemplation. It said: (translated from Spanish) “you dress like a woman but you think like a man. Your walk is insecure. Think how you dress and you will look better.”
My initial thought was to be insulted. All the other comments I receive are flattering or a “come on”! This particular comment was about a video I published over a year ago. But after some time reflecting on it, I understand that it was completely accurate. It is hard to be insulted by the truth. I believe I am now more secure in my walk and I think I look better. Practice does help a lot.
After even more rethinking on the comment, and who I am, and how I present myself I have come to a conclusion. I like how I look and how I walk. I do feel secure with myself and I feel extremely confident. I know I am not very feminine looking or acting. I am not very well dressed nor do I have great makeup skills.
BUT, I am very happy being me, and me is what you get. No matter whether I am in a dress or skirt or heels, or “drab” in blue jeans/t-shirt/ball cap; I am me. No comment, good or bad, is going to change that.
We should all be extremely happy with who we are. I am, are you?
A very happy Jocelyn.