“Lovebug”

When she brought me the pancakes I ordered, she said “Here you go, Lovebug!”. I liked that. We’ll get back to this in a moment.

So here I am primping for my usual pre-outing photo shoot. On this Sunday, July 18, 2021, I was scheduled to work at Mercury Theatre for the afternoon matinee. Since my duties only take an hour, I made a morning of it.

This is a great dress! You know the story, thrift store bargain. I always love royal blue and liked the white complementary color and the use of gold in my earrings, ring and purse. I received quite a few complements on my dress on this day.

I started the day with 11:00 Mass. While I had no verbal interaction with anyone, people sat all around me and during the sign of peace, I was treated like anyone else. Normally I leave before Mass is over, but on this day, I exited with everyone else. There is just something about sitting in church well dressed. I enjoy the up and down, tucking my dress underneath me as I sit, crossing my legs, sitting with perfect posture, just being a woman.

I then headed to the clothing exchange and swapped four items for two new dresses that I must say, look fabulous! A woman working there told me she thought my dress was very pretty!

After this, I went to a local diner in an area of town that is very open. The waitress and I had an immediate connection. She started by calling me “love” and then progressed to “lovebug”. I’ll be back there for sure!

As I was crossing the street to get back to my car, a woman was pulling out of a parking lot and waived me across. She then told me as I was walking in front of her car that she loved my dress!

Finally, I reported to work and just had a lovely time there, playfully interacting with the patrons. I am simply in my element when interacting with patrons, be they here at Mercury, at the art museum, the folks I encountered at Space Jam or wherever. One of my fellow ushers told me I was stunning. “Good stunning or bad stunning?” I always ask. That was very sweet of her.

I looked very pretty, I was told that I was very pretty, I was out amongst people in four different places. A perfect Sunday!

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Random Thoughts: I never really feel specifically “masculine” or “feminine”. I just feel different versions of happy or happier. It’s not like when I woke up on the day discussed above, I felt like a man and then when what you see was said and done, I felt like a woman. In my head, I just feel good about myself on a particular day. Certainly, when dressed, I act in a more feminine fashion, but what I see through my eyes, my view of the world doesn’t magically change. I certainly do different things and am viewed differently by the world based on my outward presentation.

Once I accepted myself and the person you know as Kandi was born, so to speak, what I feel like as “me” morphed, but doesn’t effectively change based upon my outfit for the day. Many of the Kandi traits are exhibited when I am home as a husband, or running a race or playing pickleball. I certainly act in the gender I am presenting, but in my head, no switch is flipped. I just feel more complete, I guess.

6 thoughts on ““Lovebug””

  1. Kandi, I love the dress, you do look stunning in it (definitely a good stunning)! Your random thoughts are certainly thought-provoking. I’ve always felt that I am different when dressed. Not good or bad, female or male, just “different”. But reading your stories and seeing your beautiful smile in every picture shows me that “happy and complete” may be the best approach to our lives. May we all find that happiness and completeness in some way. ❤

    1. I did the old person thing when I worked the Space Jam event. It was basically me and a bunch of kids. I told them to listen to one thing I said. Do what makes you happy! I said it sounds obvious and it is not easy. It took me about 50 years to figure it all out, but just do what makes you happy.

  2. I think this side of most of us we can feel like two different people, but like you I’ve just come to accept me as well me. All of me, the feminine me and the male me. I think that’s really what being bi-gendered is all about.
    For me I don’t wear makeup and wigs and such unless I’m full on fem, but at home I’m dressed feminine.
    I’m always wearing panties and yes I do wear makeup in my fluid mode.
    You Kandi have blossomed into such a beautiful person and it shows in so much of your post.

  3. Kandi,
    I am always impressed by your beautiful outfits and your whole look. You are so very feminine and pretty.
    I have told you before about my feeling not very different in male apparel or female cloths. It is just me no matter what I am wearing.
    Jocelyn

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