Why does this feel so right, yet feels so wrong?
Why does it make me happy and anxious at the same time?
Why does it bring me such joy and then the desire to get all cleaned up?
Why can’t I just be the man I am all day? Why can’t I be the woman I am all day?
Why does the assembly of the perfect outfit thrill me?
Why does a picture well taken validate me?
Why does my mind spin when finalizing an outfit? Oh yeah, that’s the perfect necklace! Those shoes pull the whole thing together!
Why is a purse so important? Why does carrying one put the cherry on the sundae?
Why is every detail so important to me?
Why do I walk like a woman when dressed, without thought?
Why has this come relatively easily for me when that isn’t the case with many sisters?
Why is this second nature to me?
Why do I look forward to getting dressed and then look forward to a stretch without dressing?
Why does it fill my mind every time my mind is idle? [Now you may understand why I try to stay so busy, so as not to be completely consumed by all of this.]
Why do I crave societal acceptance? Why do I need people to make Kandi complete?
Why can’t I figure out what to do with all of “this”? Something great is possible and I’ll die before I figure it out.
The above are all rhetorical questions, no one knows the answers.
A personal update: I have begun to put the pieces together where Kandi can become the breadwinner that I always knew she could be! Exciting opportunities on many fronts, some of which you will see and hear about here. She has lead me down the road to what may be the best possible means of making a living for me and maybe, just maybe, allowing my dear wife to take it easy soon. As you read this, I am technically holding down three jobs and hope to meld them into my work life going forward. This is the first time in probably over 15 years that I will actually use my brain to make a living. I have also upgraded to a new computer and all the stuff that goes with setting things up and moving files from one drive to another. I love the set up, but all the automatic things I did are no longer automatic, at least for now. I expect new resources to be dedicated to the blog as well as dedicated to helping my sisters in any way that I am able. Oh yeah, movie number seven coming up (paid movie number three) and a have a marathon to run next week to hopefully get me back to Boston (Boston, you won the first one, but I’ll get you back!). Other than that, not much else to report…….